Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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