do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
