whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
