Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
