It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
