I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
