Need sex. Gaining weight.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
