So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
