Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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