I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize