I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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