i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
