He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
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After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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