that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
