I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
