lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
