I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
