He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
