he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
