Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
