Porn is love you can see.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
