i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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