He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
