We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
