i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
