i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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