hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
handjob tips. give me some.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Found your dick twin last night
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
