the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's shark week go big or go home
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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