you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
