just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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