To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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