I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
