Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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