We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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