well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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