im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i dont even know how to be here
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
