I wish I could punch you in the face.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
