Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
