On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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