I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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