I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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