And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Randomize