i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
