wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
