If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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