you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
