Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
