We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
