god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood and glitter go together right?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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