The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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