hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
