Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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