love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
