I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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