let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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