In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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