I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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