So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
