just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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