there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
