I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Boobs are out for the taking
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Randomize
