I'm eating all of the evidence.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
