i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
