i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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