is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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