I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
