just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
