Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
