I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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