He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize