It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
