Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
